Words behind the wall

I’ve learned you have to choose between a lot of things, one being you over the world. The world has the devil written all over it. It can be in the people you look at, the thoughts you have in your own mind, the evil you fight within the day. Anywhere. In every moment though I’ve learned you have to pick you. Pick your peace, your happiness, your growth, you. Make sure you remember all that you’ve been through and how much better you are now. You’ve been through worse and maybe even later in life worse than all of that, BUT this isn’t it.

Losing people you love when they are still alive is one of the worse parts of life even though it’s just apart of it. They don’t have to die for them to be gone. They can move and never see you again or get locked up for a few years or even betray you in ways you never could imagine. They can take a pill or 2 and get addicted or they can even be right in front of you while they are fading. Losing somebody when you truly care about them is hard and you can feel every bit of the heartbreak for it. I’ve learned though that you can be sad about it, you can be sad about it for as long as you want too. But once the realization of them not coming back hits you, you have to tell yourself you will never be sad or hurt about it again and love you above the person you lost. In the end, you’ll feel less lonely and truly loved from the ones around.

Embrace the people who are around and want to be there for you instead of being mad at the ones who aren’t there. I’ve learned overtime that when I get upset towards a certain person, I start “doubting” and pushing away other people who are actually around. It’s like the hurt from another person makes me mad at everybody and every wrong thing that happens. You really can’t do that and be that person because people really do care about you. Sometimes it’s just harder to see because you forget that they could be going through something, too and it could cause them to reach out and love differently.

Love to your fullest. When you feel there is nothing left, love more. Love what you have and the ones around you. I really say love to your fullest because tomorrow is never promised. The things you say, the things you do, just do it out of love. When you love somebody, tell them. When you love the moments, express it. Love the view, the people, the place, the moment, the bigger picture. Simply just love.

Above all forgive yourself and the things you allowed yourself to go through. Sometimes we allow more than we should because we don’t want to let certain people go or make changes to our lives yet. You know when it’s time to let go and move on from certain things and places, but do it on your own time. No pressure, no second guessing yourself, just do it and be so happy with it that you forget you ever went so low you thought you’d never make it. Make more memories and laugh uncontrollably, care about yourself and work hard for what you want and deserve. After all, this is your life.

I’ve notice that this generation is all about their technology. It can be the phone, game, tablets, anything; but they’d much rather spend their time on all of those than the things and people around them. I remember growing up if we were going to see family or family and friends was over the kids were outside while everybody else was just up talking and walking around doing “grown up things”. I really think we’ve had to adapt to this. It is more normal than not to have fun through technology. It’s the same with school, everything is on computer now. No books, no paper. No physical contact, just computer. Even though things are this way now, I try to still be physical and enjoy the things around me also.

Moral of it all is this year make it a good year. Whatever that could mean to you, do it. Choose you above everything. Make memories. Laugh. Learn a new hobby. Build new things. Get a new job. Buy a new car. Move. Get married. Sky dive. Binge watch netflix all day. Go to the club. Make new friends. Have a yard sale. Go swimming. Go to a concert. Skinny dip. Fall in love. Change your hair. Go to the beach. Go to a racetrack. Go on a vacation. Reach out to an old friend. Write a song.Have a baby. Read a book. Rent a cabin. Do something fun and memorable and new. Just do whatever you can do to enjoy the upcoming days and the people in your bubble.