Words behind the wall

When you’re all alone and trying to escape, where do you run? What do you turn to? Is it alcohol? Weed? Cigarettes? Sleep? Music? Do you call the people you love or do you suffer in silence? Do you lay on the one you’re in love with or do you sleep alone? Do you play the music louder to block the world out or do you lay in the quiet and listen to the sounds through the walls? Do you hide? How hard is it to fight? What goes through your mind as you lay there waiting to fall asleep for the third time? What are you fighting for? Do the medicines the doctors prescribe help you? How do you be ‘okay’ again?

One of the hardest topics to talk about. The sadness we feel and where it comes from. Why do we go through the things we do? Why do we have mood swings and why can’t we just be happy all the time? Psh, I wish I could answer that question but I can’t. I just know that we all have a reason why we push through whatever situation is in our way. Sometimes it’s hard but you somehow do it and you just get through it until it’s gone. The only problem is it will mess with you mentally and change you and your personality. You have to get through it and come at peace with it so you can be happy and free.

My motivation is the two eyes looking at me everyday telling me he loves me and appreciates the things I do for him. He makes me laugh when I want to cry, hugs me in all the right moments and is becoming somebody out this world. If I gave up, where would that put him? My motivation is knowing I get to talk on the phone to hear and laugh with my girls when I get off work. It’s the looks my niece and nephew give me when they haven’t seen me in a while. It’s the people who remind me how I make the difference in a work day. It’s the smiles and laughs we all do to help get through a long day. It’s the things I’ve already worked hard for and the things that are coming. It’s the person loving me through all my bad because he knows the grater is better than that. It’s the words of encouragement from the people I grew up with and seen the difference in what I’ve became. It’s the daily “I love you” text from my parents. It is the little things in the day, literally.

Just decide to pick you and happiness. Decide to bring peace to the pain and let that hurt go. Tomorrow isn’t promised. If today was your last day would you spend it hurting or would you be trying to fit all those things you’ve should’ve been doing already in the next 24 hours? Live that way everyday and let the people who love you be there and really try to be better. Speak it, feel it, do it. This is your only life.

Choose you. Above any circumstance, choose you.