Words behind the wall

I met this guy at a party a while back. At first, I didn’t like him but then as time would progress and we talked, he became my best friend. At one point, he was in love with a girl who broke his heart. It hurt me to watch him go through this and lose all hope in love. Little did I know, I was falling in love with him. It was the little things that made me smile that he’d do. The way he would smile at me with his big brown eyes, the way he hugged me made me feel like all my pieces came together, when he kissed me it’s like the world would stop and it’d give me those butterflies in my stomach. He was my best friend, I couldn’t fall in love with him; but I did.

Sooner than later he became the reason I was pushing, while I was falling apart, I needed to help save him. I knew what I wanted, who I wanted, and where I wanted to be the rest of my life. Falling in love with him came with pain because he could never feel this way for me. It hurts me knowing he could have the world in the palm of his hand, but he’s off in another galaxy. It’s easier being by his side, helping him through the heartaches and the pain, rather than being in a world without him. Despite the pain, he’s the one who makes me feel okay. He makes me feel safe and secure, like I’m home. When something’s wrong, he’s the person I run too with no hesitation, hes the first person I look for when it’s a crowd full of people, hes the first and last person I message in the day. Whatever he needs, I’d happily give to him without a doubt. He deserves so much, yet settles for so little.

As hard as it was being his best friend and also being in love with him, I still have to be there. I have to be the one to show him that people can keep promises and that there’s at least one person in this world who would never give up on him even when it’s hard. No matter what he did or will do, the choice of leaving him isn’t there. I want to be the person who shows him that not everybody is the same.

As time progresses, I watch him fall out of love with this girl and become more about the social media fame. He has this whole world in front of him and sometimes I feel like he doesn’t even realize it. I find myself asking him if he’s okay or if he needs anything. This man is my whole life and there isn’t anything in this world I wouldn’t do for him.

I hope one day he realizes his worth and what he deserves. I hope he gets the love he’s always wanted and wished for. That one day he will see the things he’s searching for is right in front of him. I hate the hurt he’s went through and the things he might go through if he lets another person in, but I also hope he realizes that I’m the girl all along. I know it’s wrong because he is my best friend, but goodness I could give it all to him if he’d let me.